It is a well known fact that I have been fearing losing my hair. My pity party of a week ago was pretty much over that.
As a kid, I had awesome hair. I was bald until I was 2, and then I had Shirley Temple curls. In elementary school I remember priding myself on how long my hair was. And then, junior high came along....
Something happened in 6th grade. My hair went from wavy to kinky, curly, and crazy! It was terrible. There was nothing I could do with it. It was huge! They tried perming it, cutting it, anything to get it to calm down. Not until high school did it get slightly better. Even through high school and college and I disliked my hair. I could never just leave it down because it would get so frizzy. It was constantly in a ponytail. I wore my hair down exactly one time in high school (Ironically that was also the only day I wore a skirt to school. And for the record, I went home at lunch and put my hair up and changed my clothes).
When I started teaching, it was still usually in a ponytail. If I wanted to straighten it, I would have to plan to set my alarm extra early to get it done before I had to leave. This year things have started to change. I don't know if it's because I've grown it out, or it's changed texture or after 34 years I've actually learned what to do with it, but I'm loving my hair. I leave it curly more often than not these days. And now I face losing it. The irony.
Yesterday Sarah and I went to look at wigs. Can we take a moment to discuss how creepy mannequin heads are? Why must they be creepy??? Can't normal faces be painted on them??? Anyways, after sitting for a long time amongst the creepy ladies, I came to the realization that I don't want a wig.
What if I spend a bunch on money on one and hate it? Will I really be willing to do the upkeep for a wig? I teach high school kids. They aren't going to get fooled by a wig. And I already stress about how my hair looks on a daily basis, I can't imagine stressing over how a wig looks. Plus, if I go out on the weekends and run into a student without it on, well that could just be awkward. So I'm going for it. Going bald. I mean, it works for my friend Ryan, so why not me?
Now, I am not saying I am shaving my head......yet. I'm going to let this happen naturally. I'm going to see if I can get a haircut this week to take some length off so that when I do lose it I'm not losing as much. I bought some cute little hats to wear and I have a pretty good scarf collection so I'll see what I can do with those.
I'm not going to say I'll stay this calm through the whole hair process. In fact as I type this I'm fearing going to take a shower and having it all fall out, but I'm more ready for it to happen than I was before. I've been told that when it comes in it's usually really curly. Now I'm hoping for a little fro in a couple months!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Food for thought
The questions I have gotten the most since I started chemo was "has it been a vomit fest?" Now I'm sure I get asked this for a couple reasons. One, the typical side effect of chemo is nausea and two, I am a puker. I throw up a lot! (TMI but a fun fact nonetheless) (And no, I'm not bulimic or anorexic!)
This has so far not been a "vomit fest". In fact, no vom to date! The first couple days I did have some nausea, but took my pills and that stopped it pretty fast. I have also found that hard candy has helped stop the nausea (and thanks to my friends I have a ton of that).
I haven't really had much of an appetite, however. We ordered pizza when we got home from chemo and that tasted pretty good, but the next day all I really wanted were the cheese sticks. Nothing else sounded good. I could have ordered Papa John's cheese sticks every day and been completely happy (and I almost did). And worse, anything (except the fries) that I ate while I was at chemo immediately turned my stomach. (In fact, just typing that made me a little sick).
I think that part of my lack of hunger is not wanting to turn this into a "vom fest", but I know I need to eat. I've been trying to eat little meals along the way rather than big meals that might be too much for my stomach.
I've heard that through chemo your taste buds change and some of your favorite things you can't eat anymore. Is it totally irrational that I fear my love of fries will go away???
This has so far not been a "vomit fest". In fact, no vom to date! The first couple days I did have some nausea, but took my pills and that stopped it pretty fast. I have also found that hard candy has helped stop the nausea (and thanks to my friends I have a ton of that).
I haven't really had much of an appetite, however. We ordered pizza when we got home from chemo and that tasted pretty good, but the next day all I really wanted were the cheese sticks. Nothing else sounded good. I could have ordered Papa John's cheese sticks every day and been completely happy (and I almost did). And worse, anything (except the fries) that I ate while I was at chemo immediately turned my stomach. (In fact, just typing that made me a little sick).
I think that part of my lack of hunger is not wanting to turn this into a "vom fest", but I know I need to eat. I've been trying to eat little meals along the way rather than big meals that might be too much for my stomach.
I've heard that through chemo your taste buds change and some of your favorite things you can't eat anymore. Is it totally irrational that I fear my love of fries will go away???
Round 1!
So this week was round 1 (of 4) of chemo. I honestly had very little idea of what I was in for. I've found that through all of these treatments, surgeries, etc., I've been pretty calm. I think the lack of knowing has actually led to less anxiety oddly. The nurses (and my mom) are constantly commenting on how low my blood pressure is. (Note: I had no idea going into this what a good blood pressure was.)
My chemo treatments last about 3 hours. Some of them are just hung in an IV bag, and one has to be "pushed" into my port. They start you off with anti-nausea medicine to head off any nausea you might experience. (Greatly appreciated!) The one that gets pushed in is bright red and it takes three large syringes full to get the job done. (Note: The red chemo makes my urine pink, adding to the rainbow of colors my urine has turned during this.)
You can either have a room to yourself or sit in the large open treatment room. This time I got a room to myself, I think that's because I was a newbie. I think I like having my own room. You get a tv (which entertained my mom) and it's more personal. Some of the rooms have recliners (like mine) and some have beds. I guess it would be nice to take a nap during the process, especially since some treatments can take up to 8 hours!
The nurses were very nice and explained everything. They were slightly surprised that I had just gotten my port two days before. I wasn't able to numb the port site because it was all bandaged, so the pain of having the IV put into the port was really the only pain I had. That won't happen the next time because I'll be able to put the numbing cream on ahead of time.
To keep myself busy, I played on my iPad, and opened the presents that my friend Sarah has sent along. Every so often the machine would start beeping to say that my IV bag was empty and then they would come add another medicine to the mix. My mom went and picked up Wendy's along the way because she hadn't eaten. Fries were a lovely chemo treat!
They sent me home with two anti-nausea medications with the strict instructions that I take the one at the slightest hint of nausea and take both at bed time.
That night I felt pretty good other than a pretty good headache. The next morning I woke up with the same headache. After not getting it to break with Ibuprofen, my mom finally realized that it was probably a "lack of caffeine" headache. I was told to drink 64oz of liquids each day and that anything with caffeine wouldn't count. Well, that didn't mean I couldn't have caffeine! As soon as I had a Diet Coke all was well. (And yes, it does disturb me that my body needed that Diet Coke...)
Thursday afternoon I had to go in for a shot to get my white blood cells going. This will always happen the day after the main chemo treatment. They told me that I would probably be really sore from this because it causes a lot of activity of your white blood cells in your bone marrow. Really, I haven't had much pain. At the end of the day my shoulders and neck are pretty sore, but that could also be from lounging on the sofa for many days.
I know that I'm REALLY lucky for how well this is going so far and I'm not taking that for granted. They said that usually how the first treatments go is what you should expect, so I'm hoping that the next three go smoothly.
Thanks as always for the texts, calls, emails, thoughts, prayers, food, flowers and hilarious packages. You guys rock!
My chemo treatments last about 3 hours. Some of them are just hung in an IV bag, and one has to be "pushed" into my port. They start you off with anti-nausea medicine to head off any nausea you might experience. (Greatly appreciated!) The one that gets pushed in is bright red and it takes three large syringes full to get the job done. (Note: The red chemo makes my urine pink, adding to the rainbow of colors my urine has turned during this.)
You can either have a room to yourself or sit in the large open treatment room. This time I got a room to myself, I think that's because I was a newbie. I think I like having my own room. You get a tv (which entertained my mom) and it's more personal. Some of the rooms have recliners (like mine) and some have beds. I guess it would be nice to take a nap during the process, especially since some treatments can take up to 8 hours!
The nurses were very nice and explained everything. They were slightly surprised that I had just gotten my port two days before. I wasn't able to numb the port site because it was all bandaged, so the pain of having the IV put into the port was really the only pain I had. That won't happen the next time because I'll be able to put the numbing cream on ahead of time.
To keep myself busy, I played on my iPad, and opened the presents that my friend Sarah has sent along. Every so often the machine would start beeping to say that my IV bag was empty and then they would come add another medicine to the mix. My mom went and picked up Wendy's along the way because she hadn't eaten. Fries were a lovely chemo treat!
They sent me home with two anti-nausea medications with the strict instructions that I take the one at the slightest hint of nausea and take both at bed time.
That night I felt pretty good other than a pretty good headache. The next morning I woke up with the same headache. After not getting it to break with Ibuprofen, my mom finally realized that it was probably a "lack of caffeine" headache. I was told to drink 64oz of liquids each day and that anything with caffeine wouldn't count. Well, that didn't mean I couldn't have caffeine! As soon as I had a Diet Coke all was well. (And yes, it does disturb me that my body needed that Diet Coke...)
Thursday afternoon I had to go in for a shot to get my white blood cells going. This will always happen the day after the main chemo treatment. They told me that I would probably be really sore from this because it causes a lot of activity of your white blood cells in your bone marrow. Really, I haven't had much pain. At the end of the day my shoulders and neck are pretty sore, but that could also be from lounging on the sofa for many days.
I know that I'm REALLY lucky for how well this is going so far and I'm not taking that for granted. They said that usually how the first treatments go is what you should expect, so I'm hoping that the next three go smoothly.
Thanks as always for the texts, calls, emails, thoughts, prayers, food, flowers and hilarious packages. You guys rock!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Today's post is brought to you by....A SNOW DAY!
I have said this before, I have been amazed by some of the "good luck" I've had throughout this process. The extra day off because of a snow day after my lumpectomy. The fact that all of the bad news phone calls I have received have been on days off from school. And this week, the fact that the time they scheduled my port placement was during our mid-winter break.
On Monday after I got home, they called to tell me that I officially started chemo Wednesday. This meant I would only have Tuesday to get ready for three days off of school. It should be noted that it is a lot of work to be gone for a day of teaching, let alone three! Monday night I sat down and wrote all of my lesson plans. I honestly couldn't believe how productive I was. But, my nervous energy got the best of me and I knew I had to start getting organized in order to sleep. I even joked that it would be my luck that after all of that work I wouldn't have school Tuesday.
We got our first call at 5:30am saying we were on a 2hour delay. I was already dressed and ready to go so I went ahead and started to work. I turned around a couple miles from home. The roads were so bad! I mean, I'm kind of a wuss when driving in the winter, but these were really bad! At around 8am we got the call that school was officially cancelled. While I loved the fact that I got an additional day off to recover from Monday's surgery (another piece of good luck), this meant that I wasn't at school getting ready to be gone, and I would have to redo my lesson plans.
A group of us did our traditional snow day lunch (have I mentioned how much I have loved these lunches this year?) and then I headed down to Fennville. After about 3.5 hours I felt ready to miss the next three days. So many copies made, lessons rewritten, tests planned.
I'm sad that I haven't gotten a chance to fill my students in on what is going on. They have started to ask questions about why I've been missing so much school, but I didn't want to tell them much until I had an actual treatment plan. I feel bad that I'm not there to get them ready for their tests. But, when they hit college, they are are going to have to get ready for tests on their own a lot of the time. I know that I need to make myself the priority, but I feel like I owe these kids a good experience in my classes. I want to make a good impression on the new principal, and not seem like a person who takes a lot of time off. How do some people seem so un-phased about missing school?
I will not let myself stress out about school. I will relax and take care of myself. If everything doesn't run perfectly, it will be ok.
I have no idea what to expect from chemo, but I'm sure I'll have a lot to share! Wish me luck!
P.S. Sorry for the rambling posts. I've had a lot to catch up on!
On Monday after I got home, they called to tell me that I officially started chemo Wednesday. This meant I would only have Tuesday to get ready for three days off of school. It should be noted that it is a lot of work to be gone for a day of teaching, let alone three! Monday night I sat down and wrote all of my lesson plans. I honestly couldn't believe how productive I was. But, my nervous energy got the best of me and I knew I had to start getting organized in order to sleep. I even joked that it would be my luck that after all of that work I wouldn't have school Tuesday.
We got our first call at 5:30am saying we were on a 2hour delay. I was already dressed and ready to go so I went ahead and started to work. I turned around a couple miles from home. The roads were so bad! I mean, I'm kind of a wuss when driving in the winter, but these were really bad! At around 8am we got the call that school was officially cancelled. While I loved the fact that I got an additional day off to recover from Monday's surgery (another piece of good luck), this meant that I wasn't at school getting ready to be gone, and I would have to redo my lesson plans.
A group of us did our traditional snow day lunch (have I mentioned how much I have loved these lunches this year?) and then I headed down to Fennville. After about 3.5 hours I felt ready to miss the next three days. So many copies made, lessons rewritten, tests planned.
I'm sad that I haven't gotten a chance to fill my students in on what is going on. They have started to ask questions about why I've been missing so much school, but I didn't want to tell them much until I had an actual treatment plan. I feel bad that I'm not there to get them ready for their tests. But, when they hit college, they are are going to have to get ready for tests on their own a lot of the time. I know that I need to make myself the priority, but I feel like I owe these kids a good experience in my classes. I want to make a good impression on the new principal, and not seem like a person who takes a lot of time off. How do some people seem so un-phased about missing school?
I will not let myself stress out about school. I will relax and take care of myself. If everything doesn't run perfectly, it will be ok.
I have no idea what to expect from chemo, but I'm sure I'll have a lot to share! Wish me luck!
P.S. Sorry for the rambling posts. I've had a lot to catch up on!
It's good to have a friend that's a nurse!
So I wondered all weekend how I would take my shot. I could have gone back up to the clinic in GR but that's quite a hike. They said I could give it to myself, but there is no way that was happening. At first I was hesistent to ask my friend that is a nurse, but glad I did. Nothing says friendship like giving another friend a shot in the butt. Ok really it was more the hip, but still. Huge thanks to Lins!
After getting my shot I was headed to Fennville to get some work done. I hadn't gotten the official word on whether chemo was starting this week, but wanted to start getting prepared. It was just before 9am and I knew I had plenty of time to burn before my port placement at 5. Plus, I had to go all day without eating so making copies would be a nice distraction from my growing cravings for food. Just as I got on the highway, I received a call that they wanted to move my surgery up to 11am. Hallelujah!!! I would be able to get it done and eat like 6 hours earlier than planned!
Because my port placement was moved up, my mom couldn't make it to Holland to come with me, thank goodness if was a regular day off from school so Sarah could come with me. Lots of laughs were had in the hospital room. The procedure only took about 30 mins and after a chest xray to make sure the port was in the right place, and some pain meds, we were on our way. Just like after my last surgery, we headed right to McDonalds! Gotta love a tradition.
Felt pretty good the rest of the night. It feels pretty weird to have a bump on your collar bone where something was inserted, but ports are nice because they allow you to not have IVs for chemo each time.
After a long day, I was ready to tackle my one day of work for the week. Or so I thought...
After getting my shot I was headed to Fennville to get some work done. I hadn't gotten the official word on whether chemo was starting this week, but wanted to start getting prepared. It was just before 9am and I knew I had plenty of time to burn before my port placement at 5. Plus, I had to go all day without eating so making copies would be a nice distraction from my growing cravings for food. Just as I got on the highway, I received a call that they wanted to move my surgery up to 11am. Hallelujah!!! I would be able to get it done and eat like 6 hours earlier than planned!
Because my port placement was moved up, my mom couldn't make it to Holland to come with me, thank goodness if was a regular day off from school so Sarah could come with me. Lots of laughs were had in the hospital room. The procedure only took about 30 mins and after a chest xray to make sure the port was in the right place, and some pain meds, we were on our way. Just like after my last surgery, we headed right to McDonalds! Gotta love a tradition.
Felt pretty good the rest of the night. It feels pretty weird to have a bump on your collar bone where something was inserted, but ports are nice because they allow you to not have IVs for chemo each time.
After a long day, I was ready to tackle my one day of work for the week. Or so I thought...
Friday surprises!
When I left my oncology appointment on Wednesday, I was told to schedule two other appointments to get ready for chemo. Luckily I was able to schedule them both on Friday.
The first appointment was for an echocardiogram. I needed this because for the chemo they chose, my heart needs to be extra healthy. I wore my Wes Leonard Heart Team garb to bring me some extra support! I never heard how the echo went, but since chemo is still in the plans I guess it went fine!
The second appointment was a doozy! I had to head up to the Fertility Clinic in Grand Rapids. Now if you know me, I'm about as single as it gets. I have always wanted kids, but have always leaned more towards the adoption route than having my own. This cancer has made me have to think about some things I never really thought I would. After discussing some options, having an exam I was NOT mentally prepared for and realizing that chemo would start soon and there wouldn't be enough time to harvest eggs, it was decided that I would go on Depo Lupron.
Depo Lupron is a drug that shuts down your ovaries. This way, less blood is going to them and hopefully less chemo too! There is a big risk of young women who go through chemo having a hard time getting pregnant in the future, or going into early menopause, so this treatment decreases the likelihood of this happening. The doctor sent me to a pharmacy with a prescription for a shot and then told me to come back and they would administer it.
So off to the pharmacy I went, only to find that they didn't carry that medicine. I was pretty confused as to how the office didn't know that but.... So I headed back to the doctors office and the proceeded to call every pharmacy in the greater Grand Rapids, Holland and Kalamazoo area and found that nobody had it in stock. They finally were able to order it online. On Saturday morning I received the shot via FedEx. Now the question was, how the heck was I going to take it?
The first appointment was for an echocardiogram. I needed this because for the chemo they chose, my heart needs to be extra healthy. I wore my Wes Leonard Heart Team garb to bring me some extra support! I never heard how the echo went, but since chemo is still in the plans I guess it went fine!
The second appointment was a doozy! I had to head up to the Fertility Clinic in Grand Rapids. Now if you know me, I'm about as single as it gets. I have always wanted kids, but have always leaned more towards the adoption route than having my own. This cancer has made me have to think about some things I never really thought I would. After discussing some options, having an exam I was NOT mentally prepared for and realizing that chemo would start soon and there wouldn't be enough time to harvest eggs, it was decided that I would go on Depo Lupron.
Depo Lupron is a drug that shuts down your ovaries. This way, less blood is going to them and hopefully less chemo too! There is a big risk of young women who go through chemo having a hard time getting pregnant in the future, or going into early menopause, so this treatment decreases the likelihood of this happening. The doctor sent me to a pharmacy with a prescription for a shot and then told me to come back and they would administer it.
So off to the pharmacy I went, only to find that they didn't carry that medicine. I was pretty confused as to how the office didn't know that but.... So I headed back to the doctors office and the proceeded to call every pharmacy in the greater Grand Rapids, Holland and Kalamazoo area and found that nobody had it in stock. They finally were able to order it online. On Saturday morning I received the shot via FedEx. Now the question was, how the heck was I going to take it?
Hump day was a hard day...
Wednesday I had my first meeting with the oncologist after she had confirmed that chemo was in my future. At the end of the appointment we had decided to officially go with chemo. I will have 4 treatments, one every two weeks. By looking at the calendar, I think I'm missing some of the best weeks to miss at school. One of the weeks is ACT/MME week where classes are weird and it's hard to get teaching done with so many students gone, and the last week of chemo should be during Spring break. Besides knowing that I am officially starting chemo, I know that I officially will lose my hair.
After my appointment I headed to work for a meeting and to cover detention. They were good distractors and got my mind off of things. I was holding it together pretty well til I started talking to my friend Ron Dersma and had to leave his classroom before I totally lost it. (Sorry for that awkwardness Ry!)
On my way home I decided I was allowing myself to throw a pity party tonight only. I picked up a frozen pizza, cookie dough and Mountain Dew. I don't even drink Mountain Dew but I felt like it was appropriate. haha I let myself cry and think terrible thoughts about myself. And then I decided that was enough. I am not scared of any of the chemo effects except for hair loss. In the big scheme of life, that is so small. People lose so many bigger things in their life than hair. It will grow back.
If I thought Wednesday was a challenge, I had no idea the whirlwind I was in for in the coming days....
After my appointment I headed to work for a meeting and to cover detention. They were good distractors and got my mind off of things. I was holding it together pretty well til I started talking to my friend Ron Dersma and had to leave his classroom before I totally lost it. (Sorry for that awkwardness Ry!)
On my way home I decided I was allowing myself to throw a pity party tonight only. I picked up a frozen pizza, cookie dough and Mountain Dew. I don't even drink Mountain Dew but I felt like it was appropriate. haha I let myself cry and think terrible thoughts about myself. And then I decided that was enough. I am not scared of any of the chemo effects except for hair loss. In the big scheme of life, that is so small. People lose so many bigger things in their life than hair. It will grow back.
If I thought Wednesday was a challenge, I had no idea the whirlwind I was in for in the coming days....
Saturday, February 9, 2013
It's best to just keep my mouth shut...
So, I knew I shouldn't post my last post. I had this gut feeling that if I posted that, I'd regret it. I knew the minute I admitted out loud that I was getting comfortable that reality would hit yet again.
Yesterday started out great. Received a 5:30am phone call for an unexpected snow day and some friends and I made out usual snow day plans for lunch out to celebrate. I was busy painting my nails when the doctors office called. I knew when she started with "do you have some time to talk" that I wasn't going to like this conversation. (On a side note: it's amazing that every time I've gotten calls about this situation, it's been either on vacation days or snow days so I haven't had deal with these chats at school.)
The results from my testing were back. Like I said earlier, the ONCO testing would test the cancer cells for their aggressiveness and put them into a category of low, intermediate or high. Mine fell in the intermediate category, but one point from being high. Womp, Womp...... This score, along with my age (have I mentioned this isn't something a 34 year old normally deals with???) and the fact that there were multiple (2) spots of cancer that she was recommending a short term of chemo. Yup, another sucktastic C word coming into my life. She said that I could have come in yesterday to talk things over, but my mom was in Lansing for the day and I knew that she would NOT appreciate me having a meeting like this without. So, we'll be going in on Wednesday morning to talk over my chemo cocktail options.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad/mad/scared/frustrated/all the above about this developement. However, I am all for anything that gives me a better chance of avoiding this crap later. I've said before that in the back of my mind I worry about what else is lurking in my body that hasn't been found, and hopefully if there is something, this chemo will find it and eliminate it. I made the mistake of googling chemo options and found that there are some that don't cause to lose your hair. Now my hopes are up. But even if I do, it will grow back.
I'll fill you in more after Wednesday after I have more answers to how long chemo will last and when I will actually start it.
Yesterday started out great. Received a 5:30am phone call for an unexpected snow day and some friends and I made out usual snow day plans for lunch out to celebrate. I was busy painting my nails when the doctors office called. I knew when she started with "do you have some time to talk" that I wasn't going to like this conversation. (On a side note: it's amazing that every time I've gotten calls about this situation, it's been either on vacation days or snow days so I haven't had deal with these chats at school.)
The results from my testing were back. Like I said earlier, the ONCO testing would test the cancer cells for their aggressiveness and put them into a category of low, intermediate or high. Mine fell in the intermediate category, but one point from being high. Womp, Womp...... This score, along with my age (have I mentioned this isn't something a 34 year old normally deals with???) and the fact that there were multiple (2) spots of cancer that she was recommending a short term of chemo. Yup, another sucktastic C word coming into my life. She said that I could have come in yesterday to talk things over, but my mom was in Lansing for the day and I knew that she would NOT appreciate me having a meeting like this without. So, we'll be going in on Wednesday morning to talk over my chemo cocktail options.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad/mad/scared/frustrated/all the above about this developement. However, I am all for anything that gives me a better chance of avoiding this crap later. I've said before that in the back of my mind I worry about what else is lurking in my body that hasn't been found, and hopefully if there is something, this chemo will find it and eliminate it. I made the mistake of googling chemo options and found that there are some that don't cause to lose your hair. Now my hopes are up. But even if I do, it will grow back.
I'll fill you in more after Wednesday after I have more answers to how long chemo will last and when I will actually start it.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
So don't get me wrong, I've really enjoyed the last two weeks of calm. No appointments, no phone calls from doctors, no tests. But, I've become comfortable. I've stoped worrying about the results of my ONCO testing. I've stopped obsessing over the possibility of chemo. I've gone back to my routine. However, I know that two weeks was how long they said results would take, so any day now I will get a call.
I got this comfortable one other time. Before I got the results of my second biopsy (the one that led me into this situation) I let myself believe that it was taking so long because they didn't find anything and so there was no rush to tell me. I can even remember my mom saying "well, if something was really wrong they would have called immediately." Yeah, well that didn't work out so well.
So in the mean time, I'm just sitting on my sofa, waiting for a call, wishing for good news. Don't think that I'm holding out on you guys, I'll let you know as soon as I know. :)
I might sound like a broken record, but just want to say thanks again for the cards, texts, calls, flowers and cookies. You all have helped me keep my sanity!
I got this comfortable one other time. Before I got the results of my second biopsy (the one that led me into this situation) I let myself believe that it was taking so long because they didn't find anything and so there was no rush to tell me. I can even remember my mom saying "well, if something was really wrong they would have called immediately." Yeah, well that didn't work out so well.
So in the mean time, I'm just sitting on my sofa, waiting for a call, wishing for good news. Don't think that I'm holding out on you guys, I'll let you know as soon as I know. :)
I might sound like a broken record, but just want to say thanks again for the cards, texts, calls, flowers and cookies. You all have helped me keep my sanity!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
I've been called dense before but not like this!
So, I don't think I've really addressed this yet, but through this process I have been told that I have extremely dense breasts. Prior to this, I didn't even know that existed! Then a couple of weeks ago Channel 8 started showing this commercial (On a side note, it isn't until you have a cancer diagnosis that you notice just how many commercials there are about cancer):
Clearly having dense breasts can be a serious thing. I am VERY lucky that I could feel my lump. I am not one to go to the doctor often (especially the doctor for girl parts) so if I hadn't, who knows how long that lump would have been there before it was caught. And, by not catching that lump, my cancer cells would have had plenty of time to develop into more cancer and spread and you know where I'm going here! I shudder at the thought. My lady friends, get you boobies checked! I don't care that mammograms aren't supposed to be done until around 40, get them checked!
By the way, no news on the treatment front. However, this was the first week in about two months that my breasts didn't have to go on display to anyone. Win! (Ok pervs, I meant to doctors. Geez!) (Not that they went on display to boys either....)
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