Wednesday I had my first meeting with the oncologist after she had confirmed that chemo was in my future. At the end of the appointment we had decided to officially go with chemo. I will have 4 treatments, one every two weeks. By looking at the calendar, I think I'm missing some of the best weeks to miss at school. One of the weeks is ACT/MME week where classes are weird and it's hard to get teaching done with so many students gone, and the last week of chemo should be during Spring break. Besides knowing that I am officially starting chemo, I know that I officially will lose my hair.
After my appointment I headed to work for a meeting and to cover detention. They were good distractors and got my mind off of things. I was holding it together pretty well til I started talking to my friend Ron Dersma and had to leave his classroom before I totally lost it. (Sorry for that awkwardness Ry!)
On my way home I decided I was allowing myself to throw a pity party tonight only. I picked up a frozen pizza, cookie dough and Mountain Dew. I don't even drink Mountain Dew but I felt like it was appropriate. haha I let myself cry and think terrible thoughts about myself. And then I decided that was enough. I am not scared of any of the chemo effects except for hair loss. In the big scheme of life, that is so small. People lose so many bigger things in their life than hair. It will grow back.
If I thought Wednesday was a challenge, I had no idea the whirlwind I was in for in the coming days....
No comments:
Post a Comment