It's best to just keep my mouth shut...

So, I knew I shouldn't post my last post. I had this gut feeling that if I posted that, I'd regret it. I knew the minute I admitted out loud that I was getting comfortable that reality would hit yet again.

Yesterday started out great. Received a 5:30am phone call for an unexpected snow day and some friends and I made out usual snow day plans for lunch out to celebrate.  I was busy painting my nails when the doctors office called. I knew when she started with "do you have some time to talk" that I wasn't going to like this conversation. (On a side note: it's amazing that every time I've gotten calls about this situation, it's been either on vacation days or snow days so I haven't had deal with these chats at school.)

The results from my testing were back. Like I said earlier, the ONCO testing would test the cancer cells for their aggressiveness and put them into a category of low, intermediate or high. Mine fell in the intermediate category, but one point from being high. Womp, Womp...... This score, along with my age (have I mentioned this isn't something a 34 year old normally deals with???) and the fact that there were multiple (2) spots of cancer that she was recommending a short term of chemo. Yup, another sucktastic C word coming into my life.  She said that I could have come in yesterday to talk things over, but my mom was in Lansing for the day and I knew that she would NOT appreciate me having a meeting like this without.  So, we'll be going in on Wednesday morning to talk over my chemo cocktail options.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad/mad/scared/frustrated/all the above about this developement. However, I am all for anything that gives me a better chance of avoiding this crap later. I've said before that in the back of my mind I worry about what else is lurking in my body that hasn't been found, and hopefully if there is something, this chemo will find it and eliminate it.  I made the mistake of googling chemo options and found that there are some that don't cause to lose your hair. Now my hopes are up. But even if I do, it will grow back.

I'll fill you in more after Wednesday after I have more answers to how long chemo will last and when I will actually start it.