Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Hypochondria is one of my many charming traits

Since I was young, if I heard about an ailment I was pretty convinced I had it. I may not have voiced this out loud, but I could talk my self into and out of having various medical problems quite quickly.

Just some of the examples:
-Somebody once told me (either my mom or grandma) that if your stomach ache was at the bottom of your stomach you would be find. If it was on the top, you were going to throw up.  I spent many nights tracking the pain in my stomach trying to gauge if I was going to vomit. I rarely did and I'm pretty sure my worrying only made the pain worse.
-In middle school we read the book "Hatchet". If I remember correctly, the pilot of the airplane complained about pain in his left arm before he died of a heart attack. Any pain in my left arm freaked me out after that. (It should be noted that I rarely read books that I was assigned. I read this one unfortunately.  Pretty sure it scarred me for life.)
-After Wes died, every shortness of breath or pain or pretty much anything out of the ordinary had me convinced something was wrong.

None of these worries have gotten better now that my "situation" has come around. Last night I went to  bed and my back ached. Couldn't figure out why. This morning not only did my back ache but I also had a headache. What immediately came to mind? The cancer is spreading! It's in my brain and back!
After a mini meltdown, I stopped at the gas station to buy Extra Strength Tylenol (since I only had Ibuprofen at home and I'm not supposed to take that) and by 1st hour the pain was gone.

I can't wait until Thursday is over and the worry/wondering if the cancer has spread will be answered (and hopefully gone). The MRI didn't show anything besides the tumor they know about, but then again, the first biopsy came up negative... (Sidenote: I hate the waiting game. I am not good at it.)

Another sidenote: yes, I realize my quirkiness just came through loud and clear with this post. If only you could hear the other crazy thoughts in my head. If you think I fret about health issues, you should hear how I fret about boys! :) (And yes, I said boys and not men. Let's be honest, they're boys and they are dumb.)

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