Sunday, May 19, 2013

How can you help?

When I first started this blog, someone told me I should write a post about how people can help friends/family that are going through this type of thing. I think I've mentioned some of these before, but here's what I have thought of:

*I know I've mentioned how much I loved getting gift cards to restaurants. Not that I didn't completely appreciate when people brought me food, but it often went bad because my appetite was so all over the place that I never knew what I'd be hungry for. Gift cards were perfect for satisfying whatever cravings I had that day. (Subway was my biggest craving!)

*One of the best thing people did for me was make me get out of the house.  I remember that after my lumpectomy my friend Jocelyn called me and said "Take a shower and get dressed, we are going out to dinner." I would have easily turned the offer down if she hadn't told me she was on her way to my house. I may have been exhausted after the trip, but it felt really good to be out of the house and to not dwell on how crummy I was feeling.

*Losing your hair sucks. It doesn't matter if you go with a wig or a hat, you still feel totally self- conscious and not yourself. My day was absolutely made when a friend/coworker/student told me they liked my hat.

*The teacher whose classroom is behind mine brought me daffodils each week when they first started to bloom. She would simply bring them in and put them on my desk. I loved having flowers on my desk!

*I have really enjoyed getting letters in the mail. Some come with long messages and some just say  "I saw this and thought of you. Who doesn't love mail??

*Cancer can be really lonely. Few people in your life know exactly what you're going through and I find myself not wanting to always burden them with stories because, let's face it, they aren't the happiest. Check on your friends/family. Send them a text, email them, call them. Ask them how they are. Don't wait for them to ask for help, because they might not.

*When you are first diagnosed people always want to help. But, cancer treatments last a long time. I mean, mine was short, but many last a long time and the side effects and mental exhaustion last a long time. It completely wears you down. Check in on your friends and family weeks and months down the road.

I can never fully express how thankful I am for my friends and family and how well they took care, and continue to take care, of me during this. I will not soon forget, and hope to be just as supportive when others go through the same thing.

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