Three years later...

So I recently got a nice comment from somebody who reminded me that it's been three years since I updated this little blog of mine. So here is what happened since the cliffhanger I left you with three years ago....

The cancer was back. I learned that it was actually a different strain of cancer (strain? type?). It was back on the same side, no spots on the left.  My surgeon was all about a double mastectomy and so was I! Here are some highlights from that:

• Double mastectomies are no joke. They hurt like a mother, and you realize very quickly that you have zero ab muscles. (Kids! Do your crunches!!!)
• I took 6 weeks off of school. That was really hard! Luckily I left my class to a good friend who did an awesome job so that wasn't any added stress.
• Drains are the devil. Daily tasks like a shower led to some creative moves. I'd like to patent my "pin your drains to swimsuit bottoms while you shower" move. I shared it with a friend at work going through the same thing and she found it a game changer too.
• Expanders are the WORST. They are uncomfortable and they feel like the most foreign things in your body...probably because they are. When you get them expanded your whole chest feels stretched to the brink.
• I ended up getting a staph infection around one of my incisions that didn't heal very well. Fun fact: if you've had radiation your skin changes and doesn't heal as well. This ended up extending the reconstruction process about 6 months...
• You can't sleep anywhere but on your back for like 4 months. That was terrible for this stomach sleeper.
• Nobody really tells you that your breasts will have zero feeling after these surgeries. Well maybe some people get that feeling back, but I don't. I can feel the pressure if someone is touching them, but don't really "feel it" if that makes sense. That has led to some funny " you've spilled something on yourself but you don't know because you didn't feel it" moments...

So by June 2016 I had finished everything and had my new tatas that, fingers crossed, won't try to kill me this time!

Having implants has some big pluses:

• You get to make fake boob jokes....a lot.
• I don't have to wear underwire bras!
• They are a conversation topic
• You have a fun card to keep in your wallet that identifies them

So that's my update! I still see doctors every 6 months. I have now been put on tamoxifen for 10 years,  5 years down. And I am still terrified every time I have an ache or pain or think I feel something funny. Pretty sure that's not going to go away. Oh! and I turned.....40! My body hurts thinking about it...

Thanks for reading!